Secret Love Affair (밀회) - Her Letter (English version)

For you things may be easy, but I will be the one who will pay for this sin in my next life. Because I answered to your love , people will make me to pay for it in this life. For this I'm afraid. For you.  For us.  Forgive me because I am greedy… I want all that I have and something more … I want you.

Every day you've teach me something. From me own being was molded another one, vulnerable with fragile ankles and soft knees. I face new overwhelming sensations, that I live intensely and I enjoy them until their last breath. I look for clock whose ticking I want to stop it, to keep the joy of thought and to stop looking for time-relativity meaning...

Time…. put on pan balance measure my years, it presses my shoulders and I feel how my life is running through the hourglass. You're the one who had the courage to brake it, spreading his discharge in thousands of fragments. I often locked myself in my own brain and just as many times I refused to get out of there. But temptations make me touch things in this world without having to think. Only time zero is priceless. And find no equation to apply my consciousness ...

We could live in a timeless disguise? To kill time? I started out by stabbing the present and throw myself into the arms of the future. I want to bite. Powerful. Demonic. I want to bite from the love who leaking. Both breathe at night, hiding in it, to remain deaf to what is beyond, thirsty, sip avidly, to drown in it , losing control...

I love it when the night watching on us, it vibrates in us and twitching in the sheets with traces of sin. Sleeping near the love candle whom I dropped on your chest. To get you out of your mind until the last breath of ecstasy and taste you again in the dawn light.

I love you so wrong and imperfect ... Innocently, naively, you anchored in your universe and you love me like no one else did. You left me to believe that perfection can exist somewhere on a mattress in a certain room. You broke my heart and then fed me with your love ...

Still crying. For I have not forgiven all demons and fight with times of my life. It seems that present is mocking me I should not give a damn about the past ... But the past overwhelms me, this would bury me and will put obstacles in the future. And I'm afraid. Shadows of the past include present, without giving a chance to the future. Because I might wake up the hell from love . And because I am greedy… I want all that I have and something more … I want you. Because you left me to believe that perfection can exist somewhere ...

written by manudrag, translated by Adriana Chiotan