Secret Love Affair (밀회) - Love letter - II (English version)

All come in a heap, without asking us if we want them or if we could drive them out. Influenced by circumstances, we could accept mechanical or we could enjoy them, we can redefine ourselves as we live one day, one month, one year. Do not let a miraculous chance to become commonplace, dusty, instead we could try to reinvent each time.

Basically, we still are. In hidden corners of our souls, the same piano chords steal our tears, screaming at us the same fears, the same fault sometimes rips us. But nothing shook us hard enough to keep us away.

Might this to be our last night... Let leave it outside the windows.  Let us burn our love, breathe my thoughts, let unfold our dreams, agonizing stealing our breaths. Us. Naked.  As our bodies  stain the sheets. We have all night, until we know each other  by heart. In to a  deep sleep, let get drunk from that perfume that smell ... so familiar ... coming from nowhere. For tomorrow I will go. Because I respect your love. And I wish I was worth to it.

I was wrong translating the verb "to be" searching, in a moment of madness, victory over material goods. You were there to tell me that "being" is more important. I look forward to the missing ships and for a moment to my loneliness that haunt me. I will never ask anything again, I will not cry, I lift up my eyes to the ankles. Only if the storm will start again and our love will fall from the sky like lightning, I know that I will catch your waiting hand.

For each of us there is a treasure somewhere. And if you have to lose everything to find it ...that worth it. Because... only when we got rid of the fear of losing something, only then we actually have it. Somewhere ,in a roadside, piano will wait our hands together to make it moan and we will love each other until we burn alive. Do not let a miraculous chance to become commonplace, dusty, instead we could try to reinvent each time.

written by manudrag, translated by Adriana Chiotan

Secret Love Affair (밀회) - Her Letter (English version)

For you things may be easy, but I will be the one who will pay for this sin in my next life. Because I answered to your love , people will make me to pay for it in this life. For this I'm afraid. For you.  For us.  Forgive me because I am greedy… I want all that I have and something more … I want you.

Every day you've teach me something. From me own being was molded another one, vulnerable with fragile ankles and soft knees. I face new overwhelming sensations, that I live intensely and I enjoy them until their last breath. I look for clock whose ticking I want to stop it, to keep the joy of thought and to stop looking for time-relativity meaning...

Time…. put on pan balance measure my years, it presses my shoulders and I feel how my life is running through the hourglass. You're the one who had the courage to brake it, spreading his discharge in thousands of fragments. I often locked myself in my own brain and just as many times I refused to get out of there. But temptations make me touch things in this world without having to think. Only time zero is priceless. And find no equation to apply my consciousness ...

We could live in a timeless disguise? To kill time? I started out by stabbing the present and throw myself into the arms of the future. I want to bite. Powerful. Demonic. I want to bite from the love who leaking. Both breathe at night, hiding in it, to remain deaf to what is beyond, thirsty, sip avidly, to drown in it , losing control...

I love it when the night watching on us, it vibrates in us and twitching in the sheets with traces of sin. Sleeping near the love candle whom I dropped on your chest. To get you out of your mind until the last breath of ecstasy and taste you again in the dawn light.

I love you so wrong and imperfect ... Innocently, naively, you anchored in your universe and you love me like no one else did. You left me to believe that perfection can exist somewhere on a mattress in a certain room. You broke my heart and then fed me with your love ...

Still crying. For I have not forgiven all demons and fight with times of my life. It seems that present is mocking me I should not give a damn about the past ... But the past overwhelms me, this would bury me and will put obstacles in the future. And I'm afraid. Shadows of the past include present, without giving a chance to the future. Because I might wake up the hell from love . And because I am greedy… I want all that I have and something more … I want you. Because you left me to believe that perfection can exist somewhere ...

written by manudrag, translated by Adriana Chiotan

Secret Love Affair (밀회) - His Letter (English version)

Never let me fall in the night that stars forgot to shine. Get me, fully hug me, let me naked of my thoughts and cover me with you. Let your soul surrounds me with arms of love, drop the veil of desire, show me your love, and allow the secrets of passion to embrace you.

Let me caress your silky hair, let me learn your equal and gentle rhythm of breathing, let me get drunk with the scent of your skin … Kiss my lips that recognize you and whisper you so well that I can reinvent you from my thoughts, tears,  passion, and longing and love ...

Read my eyes and respond me with your lips. Sip my whispers before being spoken. Empty me off you and fill my thirst. Heaven and earth, water and fire are one ... I want to send you every one of my thoughts, to be able to understand every smile of yours who crash deep inside me like a wave, always knowing you there, to be your start and your end ...crowded thoughts running and breaking my silence, while you sleep in there shade when time is no longer measured...

In the morning, carefully gather me from your dusty thoughts and breathe me easily ... Let me show you the first ray of sunshine through my eyes. For a moment, for a moment only, to fly together far from reality... And just for a moment for you to be me, to live with my soul, to feel my heart bit, to watch through my eyes... to understand how hard it is living without you ...

Among the blink of my eyelashes I see white butterflies dancing... To tell you how much I love you?... Totally and eternally. I love you without words, in every second, in anxiety, in pain. Honest and courageous. I love you because I had you in reality, in my dreams, in my ideals… but that was too short. We have not finished our dance of life.

written by manudrag, translated by Adriana Chiotan

Secret Love Affair (밀회) - Love letter (English version)

Fate doesn’t give you any notice or warning. We live in a continuous present and the time is getting shorter and shorter until the end…. Rich or poor, our spirits travel in this life with hope that we can find the code to the safe. Can we tell what’s inside?

Our World is shaken and our quiet corner is assaulted ... Our infected souls, apparently numb, bewildered, seeking their true nature, are groping in search of perfection. We're here, I’m dumped not far from your thoughts and you are wandering through mine… Our Inside is an explosion of questions, dreams, fears ... We should stop searching for our beauty, for our love, for ourselves …. We already found us!

A quiet game… our quiet game...we feel and live forbidden feelings, hidden passions.  It's like a revelation. We blindly sign a life check to keep this magic and unique moment. We fumble in the dark, prisoners of a limited consciousness. We stayed on the edge of the abyss, old traumas rocking us in their will. Now, we  ask ourselves how much courage do we need to jump with confidence into it.

We're two birds with broken wings; still together we could fly…Two troubled souls, tired to look for the right path...And all of this until you and I become us, because you're half of me and I'm half of you.  Fate ... Divine Plan ... It pushes us into this abyss. So far we have lived an illusion, past still keeps us prisoners of our lack of knowledge.

It's never too early, because it may be too late. Universe gone crazy and seems to have lost his balance. Scared, with trembling knees, we fear that we would leave this world carrying with us the wealth found in the next life. Is this a must? Beyond those waves of mess the important thing is that we found each other in this overwhelming and perfect time.

We are used to live in fear, with eyes closed and ears covered we run in the opposite direction and live a life in fear under the burden of social identity.But our substance is itself the energy of love. Let's throw our masks… Let’s be ourselves and find our true essence…Let’s expand our dreams and go beyond them. The sky speaks to us through his sparkle drops and I miss hearing the echo of your heart. There is never less from too much. Let’s start our journey together and fade away...

written by manudrag, translated by Adriana Chiotan

Secret Love Affair - Scrisoare de dragoste (II)

Toate vin de-a valma, fara sa ne intrebe daca vrem sau nu, daca le dorim sau le gonim. Influentate de circumstante, le putem accepta mecanic sau ne putem redefini universul bucurandu-ne ca le traim o zi, o luna, un an. Sa nu lasam o intamplare miracoloasa sa devina banala, plina de praf, ci sa o reinventam de fiecare data.

Fundamental, tot noi suntem. In colturile ascunse ale sufletulor noastre, aceleasi acorduri de pian ne fura lacrimi, aceleasi temeri urla in noi, aceeasi vina ne sfasie uneori. Dar nimic nu ne-a zguduit suficient de tare ca sa ne poata tine departe.

S-ar putea ca asta sa fie ultima noastra noapte. S-o lasam dincolo de ferestre. Sa ne ardem iubirea, primeste-mi gandul si respira-l, lasa visele sa ne dezgoleasca, sa agonizam sorbindu-ne respiratia. Noi. Goi. Ca trupurile noastre sa ramana intiparite in cearceafuri. O noapte-ntreaga sa ne avem, sa ne rasfoim pana ne vom stii pe de rost. Si sa dormim profund, ametiti de mirosul ala de parfum... atat de cunoscut... care vine de nicaieri. Caci maine voi pleca. Pentru ca respect iubirea ta. Si-mi doresc s-o merit.

Am gresit declinand verbul "a avea", cautand, intr-un moment de nebunie, victoria asupra bunurilor materiale. Ai fost acolo sa-mi spui ca "a fi" este mult mai important. Privesc departe corabiile disparute si-mi plec privirea o clipa peste singuratatea mea bantuita. N-am sa mai cer niciodata nimic, n-am sa strig, n-am sa ridic ochii de la glezne. Doar daca vreodata va mai incepe furtuna si dragostea va cadea din cer ca un fulger, voi stii ca mana ta intinsa ma va prinde.

Pentru fiecare dintre noi exista undeva o comoara. Si daca trebuie sa pierdem totul pentru a o gasi, merita. Caci abia cand am scapat de frica de a pierde ceva,  avem de fapt totul. Undeva, la o margine de drum, pianul ne va astepta, mainiile noastre impreunate sa-l faca sa geama si noi sa ne iubim pana ce acest foc ne va arde maruntaiele... O zi, o luna, un an... Sa nu lasam o intamplare miraculoasa sa devina banala, plina de praf, ci sa o reinventam de fiecare data...

Secret Love Affair (밀회) - Scrisoarea ei de dragoste

Tie lucrurile iti par simple. Poate pentru pacatul de a fi iubita in felul acesta voi plati in viata urmatoare. Insa pentru ca am raspuns unei astfel de iubiri oamenii ma vor face sa platesc in viata asta. Din aceasta cauza mi-e teama. Pentru tine. Pentru noi. Ma iarta. Caci sunt lacoma. Vreau tot ce am si ceva in plus. Pe tine.

In fiecare zi m-ai invatat cate ceva. Din propia-mi fiinta s-a plamadit o alta noua, vulnerabila, cu genunchi moi si glezne fragile. Ma confrunt cu senzatii noi, coplesitoare, pe care le traiesc intens si ma bucur de ele pana la ultima suflare. Ma uit dupa ceasul al carui ticait as vrea sa-l opresc, sa pastrez bucuria gandului si sa nu mai caut semnificatii timpului care divide atomii...

Timpul, pus pe talerul balantei imi masoara anii, ma apasa pe umeri si simt cum se scurge prin clepsidra vietii. Tu esti cel care a avut curajul sa dea cu ea de pamant, imprastiind scurgerea lui in mii de fragmente. M-am refugiat de multe ori in propriu-mi creier si am refuzat tot de atatea ori sa ies de acolo. Dar tentatia ma face sa ating lucruri din aceasta lume fara sa mai gandesc. Doar momentul zero are valoare inestimabila. Si nu gasesc nici o ecuatie care sa se aplice constiintei mele...

Am putea trai intr-o atemporalitate deghizata? Sa omoram timpul? Eu am inceput prin a injunghia prezentul si a ma arunca in bratele viitorului. Vreau sa musc. Puternic. Demonic. Vreau sa musc din iubirea care se scurge. Amandoi sa respiram in noapte, ascunsi in ea, sa ramanem surzi la ceea ce e dincolo, insetati, sa sorbim cu nesat, sa ne inecam in aceasta dementza care pierde...

Imi place cand noapte ne sta de straja, cand vibreaza in noi si ne zvarcolim in cearseafurile cu urme de pacat. Sa dorm treaza langa lumanarea iubirii ce am presarat-o pe pieptul tau fierbinte. Sa te scos din minti pana la ultima rasuflare al extazului si sa te gust din nou in lumina rasaritului care, pe peretii camerei tapetati cu condens de sudoare, ne proiecteaza suprarealistic trupurile inlantuite...

M-am indragostit de tine atat de nepotrivit si imperfect... Cu inocenta, cu naivitate, m-ai ancorat in universul tau si ma iubesti asa cum nu a facut-o nimeni. M-ai lasat sa cred ca perfectiunea poate sa existe undeva pe o saltea intr-o camera oarecare. Mi-ai frant inima si mi-ai hranit-o apoi cu iubirea ta...

Si totusi plang. Caci nu mi-am iertat toti demonii din mine si ma lupt cu timpurile vietii mele. Pare ca-mi bat joc de prezent, ar trebui sa nu dau doi bani pe trecut... Dar trecutul ma copleseste, prezentul vrea sa ma ingroape, iar viitorului ii pune piedici. Si mi-e teama. Caci umbrele trecutului cuprind prezentul, nedand o sansa viitorului. Pentru ca s-ar putea ca din iubire sa fac iad. Si pentru ca sunt lacoma. Vreau tot ce am si ceva in plus. Pe tine... Caci m-ai lasat sa cred ca perfectiunea poate sa existe undeva...

Secret Love Affair - Scrisoare de dragoste

Destinul nu-ti da nici un preaviz, nici un avertisment. Prezentul este continuu, iar timpul se scurteaza pana cand nu va mai fi... Bogati sau saraci, spiritele noastre calatoresc in viata asta in speranta ca vom gasi codul de la seif. Dar stim oare ce este inauntru?

Lumea noastra, coltul noastru de liniste, sunt rascolite... Sufletele noastre, aparent amortite, dezorientate, isi cauta adevarata natura, sunt in aflarea desavarsirii. Suntem aici, eu aruncata la o palma de gandurile tale, tu ratacind prin labirintul gandurilor mele. Inauntru nostru e o explozie de intrebari, de vise, de temeri... Nu trebuie sa mai cautam, sa fim frumosi, sa iubim, sa devenim... Am gasit si suntem deja!

Un joc tacut, al nostru … simtim, traim senzatii ascunse, pasionale. E ca o revelatie. Semnam in alb cecul vietii pentru a pastra acest moment magic, rascolitor, unic... Am orbecait pe intuneric, prizonieri ai unei constiinte limitate. Am stat pe marginea prapastiei, blocaje vechi balansandu-ne in voia lor. Iar acum ne intrebam cat curaj ne trebuie sa ne aruncam cu incredere in abis...

Suntem doua pasari cu aripile frante, dar care impreuna pot zbura. Doua sufletele zbuciumate, obosite sa-si caute calea... Si asta pana cand tu si eu am devenit noi, caci tu esti o jumatate din mine si eu sunt jumatatea ta. Destin... Plan divin... Totul ne impinge in aceasta prapastie. Iluziile cu care am trait, legaturile trecutului, toate dor si inca nu putem sa vorbim in gura mare despre ceva despre care inca nu avem habar...

Niciodata nu-i prea devreme, caci ar putea fi prea tarziu. Universul a luat-o razna si pare sa-si fi pierdut echilibrul. Speriati, cu genunchii tremurand, ne e teama ca vom muri cu fiecare zi ce trece, ca vom parasi aceasta lume carand cu noi averea gasita in viata urmatoare. Dar e obligatoriu sa fie asa? Dincolo de valuri si noroaie de tot felul este important ca ne-am (re)gasit in acest coplesitor si desavarsit spatiu si timp...

Ne-am invatat sa traim in frica, sa inchidem ochii, sa ne astupam urechile si sa mergem in directia opusa... Sa experimentam o viata in frica sub povara identitatii sociale. Dar materia din care suntem facuti este insasi energia iubirii. Sa aruncam mastile pe care le purtam.. Sa nu ne mai identificam cu proiectiile altora si sa ne gasim esenta, sa ne identificam cu adevarat. Sa dam cortina cerului deoparte si sa ne pierdem dincolo de ea. Cerul ne vorbeste colorat in ploaiea de neoane si eu ascult ecoul dorului din pianul inimii tale... Din prea mult, niciodata nu e prea putin. Sa ne incepem calatoria impreuna, amandoi sa ne pierdem pe acest drum. Oriunde ar duce el...